Approximately 43% of American women have some form of "sexual dysfunction," the majority suffering from decreased sexual desire.
photo credit: spec-tac-les
By improving your intimate relationship, you can decrease your risk for heart disease. Recent studies have shown a connection between marriages marked by negativity, such as conflict and adverse exchanges, and an increase in the risk of heart disease (by 34 percent), even after factoring in other contributors to heart disease.
Suggestion #7: Offer positive encouragement.
When your partner feels valued for sharing his feelings and allowing you to express yours, he will be more willing to continue openly communicating. Both of you can make positive statements about how much better it feels to be open and honest. If he brings up a different subject, rather than bristling, say, “I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about this. Let’s see if we can make it work for the two of us.”
Men and women don’t think alike. Communication between the sexes, therefore, does not come naturally, since men and women frequently have different styles of communicating. To stay connected, to stay in love, and to create an ongoing desire to stay in a harmonious and intimate relationship, couples need to exercise patience and persistence. They have to create circumstances – the environment and the language – that will facilitate open communication. In short, couples have to work hard at communicating effectively.
Over the next few weeks, I will be posting a number of suggestions to help you and your partner learn how to better listen to each other, acknowledge (more…)
Valentine’s Day is here again!
Traditionally, this is a day dedicated to celebrating healthy romantic relationships and the joy of love. In honor of this, I am sending out an extra long Valentine’s Day edition of my newsletter discussing the bedroom-libido connection. I hope these ideas help to bring heightened intimacy and romance into your lives.
- Dr. Hoppe
What message is your bedroom sending?
Is it a place that invites open and intimate communication? 
Is it conducive to rest and relaxation? Interestingly, how you and your partner decorate your bedroom does in fact influence the quality of your sex life. The ancient Chinese principle of Feng Shui, placing certain objects and structures in a harmonious fashion as well as implementing colors, compass directions, and natural elements like wood, minerals, fire, water and earth is thought to attract good energy and fortune. You can use the same principals to transform your bedroom into a romantic retreat – a “love shack”!
In order to preserve the bedroom as a sacred place for you and your partner, use it only for sleep and intimacy. Avoid distractions such as computers, work materials, exercise equipment, or television. According to a recent study, “If there’s no television in the bedroom, the frequency of sexual (more…)
Good advice never goes out of style. Back by popular demand, here is a repost of last year’s “5 New Year’s Resolutions That Will Up Your Libido!” Wishing you all a healthy sex drive and a healthy you in 2011!
New Year’s Eve typically is a time to reflect on our past and to take steps to improve our lives in the following year. Heading into this next year, why not put yourself back on a road leading to a more satisfying sex life? 2011 can be the year that you put the fun back into living – and into your relationship.
Here are my top 5 recommendations for you to achieve a healthy libido in the coming year: (more…)
Watch this clip from Fox 10′s “Arizona Morning” TV show – my suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions that you can put into place to increase your libido!
photo credit: Paul-in-London
If your partner’s doctor diagnoses him with erectile dysfunction, he may be prescribed a medication such as Viagra. While this little blue pill has done wonders for men, it has not panned out to be a panacea for women. For men, Viagra causes smooth muscle relaxation, which increases blood flow to the penis, allowing it to engorge and become erect. In women, the issue with (more…)
photo credit: Herval
Has your sex life taken a dive even though you are still interested in your partner? You are not alone. According to the recent 2009 Sex, Romance, and Relationships Survey released by the AARP in May 2010, people’s sex drives have been dropping at an alarming rate(1). The study, which included a random sample of 1,670 American men and women aged 45 and older, reveals some intriguing findings. Between 2004 and 2009, the percentage of people in the 50s who say they have sex once a week dove nearly 10 points for both sexes (women dropped from 43 to 32% and men from 49 to 41%). Other age groups also show similar decreases.
One alarming statistic of this survey shows how sex has definitely “cooled down” for many menopausal women. Approximately 1 in 5 women in their 50s say they’d be quite happy to never have sex again. About 1 in 50 men in their 50s agree.
Every day in my gynecological practice, I see perimenopausal and menopausal women concerned about their lost desire, or the “urge to merge” as I like to call it.
Let me share 5 ways that you can re-ignite those flames of desire: (more…)
How frequently do couples have sex?
What is typical?
photo credit: nicolaia
There is no such thing as “typical” in this case. Every woman’s desire varies during certain times in her life, within different relationships, and within different cultures. According to the 2007/2008 Durex Global Sex Survey, couples in Greece have the most sex, approximately (more…)
To get turned on, you need to turn off your brain. Give it a well-deserved break. Allow it to do just one thing at a time, not 20 things. Focus on the scene and your partner. Mindfulness meditation is a very useful way to train your brain to do this. Using this method, thoughts can enter your mind but go right through without without needing to be fixated on. Have your mind focus on something peaceful or loving while you are caressing your partner. Keep bringing your thoughts back to what is happening to you physically – how you like his touch, his cologne, what is turning you on at that moment. This may take some practice, but is definitely achievable!
