Valentine’s Day is here again!
Traditionally, this is a day dedicated to celebrating healthy romantic relationships and the joy of love. In honor of this, I am sending out an extra long Valentine’s Day edition of my newsletter discussing the bedroom-libido connection. I hope these ideas help to bring heightened intimacy and romance into your lives.
- Dr. Hoppe
What message is your bedroom sending?
Is it a place that invites open and intimate communication?
Is it conducive to rest and relaxation? Interestingly, how you and your partner decorate your bedroom does in fact influence the quality of your sex life. The ancient Chinese principle of Feng Shui, placing certain objects and structures in a harmonious fashion as well as implementing colors, compass directions, and natural elements like wood, minerals, fire, water and earth is thought to attract good energy and fortune. You can use the same principals to transform your bedroom into a romantic retreat – a “love shack”!
In order to preserve the bedroom as a sacred place for you and your partner, use it only for sleep and intimacy. Avoid distractions such as computers, work materials, exercise equipment, or television. According to a recent study, “If there’s no television in the bedroom, the frequency of sexual (more…)
I am asking for a little help in boosting my libido, and helping my wife get in the mood through fragrances in the bedroom. Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. Thank you.
W
Hello W -
Thank you for your email. I’m glad you wrote as I do have some suggestions that I think will help you and your wife…
Researchers at the Smell and Taste Treatment Research Foundation in Chicago have conducted trials to gauge women’s sexual response to certain scents. By measuring the blood flow to the vagina, various odors were tested to evaluate arousal. You might be surprised at what they found! Among those scents found to increase (more…)
Watch this clip from Fox 10′s “Arizona Morning” TV show – my suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions that you can put into place to increase your libido!
Has your sex life taken a dive even though you are still interested in your partner? You are not alone. According to the recent 2009 Sex, Romance, and Relationships Survey released by the AARP in May 2010, people’s sex drives have been dropping at an alarming rate(1). The study, which included a random sample of 1,670 American men and women aged 45 and older, reveals some intriguing findings. Between 2004 and 2009, the percentage of people in the 50s who say they have sex once a week dove nearly 10 points for both sexes (women dropped from 43 to 32% and men from 49 to 41%). Other age groups also show similar decreases.
One alarming statistic of this survey shows how sex has definitely “cooled down” for many menopausal women. Approximately 1 in 5 women in their 50s say they’d be quite happy to never have sex again. About 1 in 50 men in their 50s agree.
Every day in my gynecological practice, I see perimenopausal and menopausal women concerned about their lost desire, or the “urge to merge” as I like to call it.
Let me share 5 ways that you can re-ignite those flames of desire: (more…)
“Use it or lose it” is literally true in the case of vaginal health!
Many studies in postmenopausal women have shown that they suffer less vaginal pain and atrophy, and less thinning of the vaginal lining, when they are having consistent sexual activity. Vaginal atrophy can lead to vaginal dryness and itching, as well as urinary tract infections. In women, sex increases blood flow to the vagina, keeping vaginal tissues more supple and lubricated – all of which can lead to less pain with intercourse as we age.
Men tend to think about sex much more than women do. On average, a healthy, vigorous man will have thoughts about sex approximately every one to two minutes, while a woman will have thoughts about sex once every couple of days (and more during certain days of her menstrual cycle). These differences have a definite biological basis, with the dominant sexual hormones, estrogen and testosterone, dictating play. Men have 10 to 100 times more (more…)
Sometimes, you or your partner may need to fantasize about someone else to become aroused and stimulated. More than four out of 10 Americans enjoy sexual fantasies and erotica to boost their libidos. As with most things in life, moderation is key. If you are fantasizing about someone else every time you are with your partner in an intimate way, then there is a problem. What needs to be explored is why you aren’t fantasizing about your partner. Does your partner still stimulate you? Are you still attracted to him? His body? His scent? By not discussing these issues together, you are being dishonest with yourself and your partner regarding the true state of your relationship.
If you’re experiencing diminished libido, it could be the result of a medical condition. Have you had a physical recently? What habits (poor diet, smoking, etc.) might be negatively impacting your health and/or sexual desire? Are you currently taking any medications (prescription and/or nonprescription)? Are you surprised to learn that both prescription and nonprescription medications can alter sexual desire, arousal, and orgasm? They can.
Some medications interfere with libido by affecting the (more…)
In general, sex is the physical act of making love, having intercourse. Sex is what got each of us here. Libido is the drive that fuels the desire to have sex. Having thoughts, fantasies, and dreams about sex are also part of libido. Sexual intimacy includes many things in addition to intercourse, including (more…)
